It’s okay not to feel okay as long as you don’t give up. A sentence that I have had to adopt again more and more for myself in the last few weeks. I know myself as a very resilient, balanced person, as someone who can recharge his batteries well and also give energy and strength to other people. In the last few weeks, however, I have noticed that my batteries are almost empty and also that the previously proven methods for recharging are no longer available or no longer sufficient due to the current restrictions. Or rather, the established methods have already been limited for some time and I am only now noticing that my batteries have been quietly and gradually draining over the months. In the last few weeks, everything felt "too much", the loads of my work, especially in retrospect due to the suicide of a client, the pressures and conflicts at home, especially due to the constant strain of home schooling, which often bring everyone here close to their limits.
But after some weeks without motivation and energy, in which I withdrew more than usual, sought more distraction than occupation and skipped pretty much all extra tasks including those photography related, my batteries were at least somewhat recharged. Enough to have energy again for some constructive and positive thoughts that hopefully lead to new solutions and more positive energy. Yesterday also felt like a kick-off, with conscious changes in the often monotonous daily routine, two good conversations and generally more joy again. It’s okay to feel not okay, it’s okay to not function, to withdraw in a safe space and to leave tasks undone for a while. A low can definitely help to calm down, to save your remaining energy, to perceive burdens more clearly and to look for new solutions. And if you can’t do this on your own, it is more than okay to seek help, to talk to friends, good acquaintances and, if necessary, professional helpers, whether in person, by phone or on the internet. A conversation can help in so many ways, especially in those strange, restricted and often isolated times. If you are feeling down yourself, I can only encourage you to seek and accept support.
If you are struggling a lot yourself at this moment, get in touch with people close to you or with the many opportunities to get help, whether in person, online or by phone. Here you can find a list of international help lines, like the Telefonseelsorge in Germany (0800 1110111 or 0800 1110222). You are worth it and your presence matters.